Friday, February 14, 2014

I Don't Feel Like Being Nice To You


From The Free Dictionary

1.   a. Expressing, containing, or consisting of a negation, refusal, or denial:
      b. Indicating opposition or resistance:
2.   Lacking positive or constructive features, especially:
          a. Unpleasant; disagreeable:
          b. Gloomy; pessimistic:
          c. Unfavorable or detrimental:
         d. Hostile or disparaging; malicious:

 “The people who are the hardest to love are the ones who need it the most.” ~Peaceful Warrior

     First off, who in their right mind would want to go through life this way. I feel sorry for them. I really do. It must be a sad place to be if everything you do, you feel, you see, you hear, you eat, you whatever - for lack of a better word - sucks.

     But for that particular person I am sure it is easier said then done (being nice that is). On the other hand, which I don't think these negative people understand, is that us not so negative people have to deal with you. Really. What do you see in the mirror when and if you even look at yourself? Do you even consider or care the way you treat people? If you ask them I am sure they will say they do. I have also had excuses such as, "I am not that bad," or, "I am not negative." REALLY!!!! Do you not hear what comes out of your mouth. I will even ask them to tell me something positive, or ask when was the last time you said anything positive. Now if they can't come up with either of these answers - they, again for a lack of a better word, suck.

    Now don't get me wrong. I have enough experience to know that most of these people do not mean to be negative. And to further clarify myself, I am not talking depression. I am not talking about the people who look at a glass half full as half empty. I have been through depression. I remember at one point in my life when something made me smile and it felt so foreign on my face that I realized at that moment, I had not smiled for a very, very long time. Now that sucks. And I will pray for anyone who is in that situation. So please, I am not talking about that kind of negativity.

    What I am talking about, are those people who just like to be negative. Again, don't get me wrong. I know no one wants to go through life negative. But when you get cut off you start yelling obscenities and flip them off, or when you got to the drive thru window and the person accidentally dropped a dime on the ground and you then proceed to throw the rest of the coins at them as well as the receipt on the ground, and the person when their dog accidentally gets in their way they proceed to kick it across the room followed by every obscene word that they can find at the moment. That is what I am talking about. I do have to say, and you may or may not agree, that this is a choice. You can choose to be sad and depressed without making everyone else around you sad and depressed, and for that matter so sorry they ever came across your path.

   Negativity really can rob a room of joy in an instant. I know everyone has a bad day once in a while, but some just seem to thrive on complaining and being generally grumpy. I again know that sometimes they do not even realize how negative they really are, or the consequences of that negativity. But, you don’t have to allow a negative person to pull you down into their sad, grumpy world. 

    For the most part though, you can avoid these people, you can write them off. But what do you do when that is not the case. What do you do if this person is a colleague, a family member, or even a spouse. I mean do you quit your job, do you not attend family functions, do you get divorced? That would be the easy way out, and definitely not the godly thing to do. Again, those that are the hardest to love are usually the ones that most need it. Jesus didn't just associate with the "happy people". No, He too had to deal with those grumpy people.

     To deal with these "grumpy" people, the best thing to do is just ignore them. Really, don't get into it with them. You can set off a time bomb that will explode at any moment, and there may be no return. But, what if you really need to say something to them. I know I get a little tense and would really just like to smack them in the face. But again, that wouldn't accomplish much, other than proving to them that you are now as miserable as they are - which I think is their goal.

    But, this is the fun part and the part which I plan to put to good use. A very simple no nonsense approach. This is really good:  Are you ready:  

"You are right".

   Say this person expresses to you that your face looks totally retarded. You can simply way, without sarcasm, "You are totally right. My face looks retarded... well, there's not much I can do about it". Maybe you are trying to start a business, and this person tells you that you are just wasting your time. Answer back without yelling "Yes, you are right. I'm just wasting time... well, what can I do".
     Now, this doesn't means that you should throw your self-esteem in the toilet and actually acknowledge that what they are saying is true. Truly, you will only just be telling the other person what they want to hear, without believing it yourself. Is this being hypocrite? Yes; but ponder it for a moment... do you believe that negative people that care crap about you truly deserve your truth? Do they deserve to know what you truly believe and feel? Do they even care? Think about what the answer is...
    Nobody has power over your mind. A person can only make your emotional life miserable only if you give importance to the words they use, and let them affect you. It really doesn't matter what they think or say about you. I really believe that they do not care too much about you and are probably only making themselves feel better. Just make them happy by acknowledging what they say is true, and then keep going on with your life. That way you save yourself from tons of totally useless discussions and insults galore with just 3 simple words - "You are right."

    Peace Out and Be HAPPY!!!!! No one likes to be around someone so negative. If you really have to be negative, go hide, far away, in the woods somewhere, or outer space for that matter, just GO!!!!!

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